Think before I speak or write

These past few days of posting new blogs have got me thinking about this above picture, which I found on Facebook. I have been on my soapbox about a controversial movie coming to the theaters on Valentine's Day weekend and also trying to encourage more people to see another kind of movie that is not at all controversial. As I carefully write this post, I must consider each of these questions.

T- Is this true?

It is true that a certain movie (whose original rating was NC-17) is about bondage and other forms of sadomasochism. I know this because I've talked to several people who have read the books in this trilogy. Unfortunately, I got a detailed account about the books which is more than I really wanted to know. As for the movie, I've gone to IMDB (Internet Movie Database) and looked up the movie's ratings. I've also seen the movie's trailer on TV and read a few articles regarding this movie.

H- Is this helpful?

I admit that getting on my soapbox and complaining about the sinful ways of this world is not helpful. The best way I can be helpful is by informing people about the negativity of viewing pornographic films. I can share my testimony as to why I am against this type of mainstream movie coming to many theaters. Although I am not against consenting adults viewing this type of movie, I am more concerned for the younger generation because our society has not accurately portrayed healthy, romantic relationships in the media. The movie that I really encourage people to see is about a 30something couple who meet and take their time getting to know one another before getting physical. The media (books, TV, movies, reality shows) often portrays couples jumping into bed before marriage. 

I- Is this inspiring?

I am afraid I have not been aiming to inspire in these last few posts. However, I hope that getting the message out about Old Fashioned, the movie I want people to see, will inspire others to see this movie. I just wish there was more information about this movie besides a few movie trailers, which have already inspired me. I believe that people will enjoy this light-hearted romance as well as see what a healthy relationship is. Being that my only relationship (which I had in my twenties) was not at all a healthy one and some of the issues I dealt with were traumatizing, I want to learn more about God-centered, healthy relationships. I want this younger generation to know and understand that romantic relationships are about mutual respect and treating one another with kindness. I also want people to know that romantic relationships do not need to be physical (meaning sexual activity) until marriage.

N- Is this necessary?

Yes and no. It's a free country so I have the right to my opinion as well as others do. What irritates me is that a number of people seem more offended when there are posts on Facebook or other social network sites, blogs, or articles that speak out against pornography, abortion, and other evils in this world. These people seem to become more opinionated and angry at those who stand up for their Christian beliefs. So, as a woman who is against pornography, my voice needs to be heard. I am also outraged that this controversial movie is coming to my once conservative hometown instead of the movie that promotes good, Christian values.

Maybe, this is not necessary for me to jump on my soapbox and complain about a trilogy of books that I will never read or a movie I will never see. Unfortunately, people want to stick their heads in the sand and say things like, "If you don't like the movie, then don't watch it." That's not the point! I am trying to express that pornography has ended marriages (including mine) and seems to be everywhere (from billboards in large cities to the Internet). It is being shoved into the minds of our younger generation when the movie trailers of this film come on at all hours of the day on TV. Whatever happened to the days when stuff like that was not on TV until late at night after the children were in bed?

K- Is this kind?

That depends on the individual who reads this post. It is kind in promoting Old Fashioned and informing people who want to watch clean entertainment that it exists, but not at enough theaters in the USA. The fans of the trilogy and those wanting to see this controversial film, may not take kindly to what I have to say. But, so what? I cannot please all the people all the time. I have tried to make my point without judging those who have read the trilogies and those who want to see the movie. If they are over the age of 18, they can do whatever they want. What I am against is the false advertising of this controversial film. Just call it what it is: porn disguised as romance! Not true romance, unless you find S & M and bondage romantic.

Old-Fashioned, the alternative to Fifty Shades of Grey

Just yesterday I was on my soapbox about Fifty Shades of Grey being hyped up as a must-see romance on Valentine's Day. Well, today I want to promote a lesser-known movie that I would love to see and encourage others to view this film instead of Fifty Shades of Grey.

A few weeks ago, a friend of mine invited me to like Old Fashioned on Facebook. Out of curiosity I checked out the page before clicking the "like" button. I want to give a huge shout out to my friend Sara (hopefully, she will read this blog) for inviting me to like Old Fashioned.

Had I known about this independent Christian film sooner, I would probably have pushed to promote this movie and encourage my local movie theater to show it on Valentine's Day weekend. Unfortunately, Fifty Shades of Grey might be hitting the theater in my small hometown. I live in the Southwestern part of the United States and not too far from the Bible Belt of Texas.

From viewing the movie trailers, Old Fashioned is a Christian movie about dating God's way. This movie may not be filled with tons of excitement and seem unrealistic in the secular dating world, but it is time for this generation to learn about the kind of relationships that God had originally intended for men and women. I believe that seeing a different way of dating would be refreshing and I could also learn some things from this movie which I might take into consideration regarding  my future relationship.

After having messed up in the romance department during my twenties, I rededicated my life to the Lord and resolved to do things I believe to be His way. God intended for people to save themselves sexually for their spouses. I can understand the challenges of remaining sexually pure as a single-again Christian in a secular world. Unfortunately, sex is everywhere in this culture, from billboard signs to books to the Internet. So now does explicit sex have to invade our movie theaters? Before I jump back on my soapbox, I checked my local theater's website and do not know for certain whether Fifty Shades of Grey will come to my theater. I'm praying that it does not. Luckily my theater was not on the list to pre-order tickets for this movie.

So back to the main purpose of this post: To encourage people to see Old Fashioned! This would be an excellent film for youth groups (high school age and older) to see. I wish I had known more about the old-fashioned kind of dating when I was a teenager and in my early twenties (especially before I went on my first date). I think that it is important for single people (of all ages) to learn how to communicate effectively with the opposite sex in a platonic way before consenting to a dating relationship. Since every person is different and every love story is different, I will not say how long one should know someone before agreeing to be in a dating relationship. I will say that I want to do things different the next time around. As I've mentioned earlier, I had messed up tremendously in my one and only relationship during my twenties. Because I want to do things God's way (which may seem outdated and old-fashioned to many people), I have found it challenging to meet single men around my age who share similar values with me. Therefore, I have not bothered with dating for well over a decade.

I may have to drive to another town to view Old Fashioned which I believe will be worth it. Below I will post a link to the movie's website.

http://oldfashionedmovie.com/

On my soapbox about Fifty Shades of Grey

Right now, I am furious about the hype of the soon-to-be released movie Fifty Shades of Grey. What is this world coming to? I know that I should not judge a movie that is based on a trilogy of books that I have never read. But, I know that this book is pornography for women. I read the book reviews and talked with people who have read the books. 

As a single, Christian woman, I refuse to read books that I know contain graphic sex in them. I do not want my mind to go places where it has absolutely no business going. I already have an overactive imagination so I do not need any more help. What I cannot understand about Fifty Shades of Grey, is that there are Christians reading these books and they will probably see the movie when it comes out on February 13th. Movie trailers are advertising this film as a romance and trying to hype it up specifically for Valentines' Day. This infuriates me, because there is nothing romantic about sadomasochism and domination in a relationship. 

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV).

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. 

The love that I am reading about in God's word is far from the kind of love that the world portrays. I am saddened that Fifty Shades of Grey is promoting what they consider romance. After reading several reviews about the book and movie, I discovered that the leading lady (Ana) has been exposed to the dark world of sexual bondage, domination, and control from her "contract" lover Christian Grey. Although a woman may enjoy receiving expensive gifts from a handsome, wealthy man, there is nothing romantic about being a sex slave and enduring some of the harsh acts that Ana endured. How can anyone consider this romantic? This is not the kind of love God wants us to experience. 

Love is patient. From what I've heard about this movie, there is nothing patient about the relationship of Ana and Christian. They have sex outside of marriage. True love waits. Love is kind. How is it considered kind to tie up someone you are supposed to care about with chains and handcuffs? It (love) does not envy- Christian stalks Ana so I see jealousy in this relationship.

It does not boast, it is not proud. This 'contract' that Christian has drawn up for Ana appears to be an attitude of pride and control. It does not dishonor others-When Christian puts all of these demands on Ana, stalks her, etc., he is not honoring her. It is not self-seeking-Christian seems to be using Ana for his own selfish desires and she enjoys getting expensive gifts from him. It is not easily angered- Bondage and other forms of S & M seem to stem from unresolved anger issues. It keeps no records of wrongs. 

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth. All I have read about from the book and movie reviews shows that evil is glorified in this story. 

It always protects- When you love someone, you would do anything to protect them from harm rather than expose them to the darkness of S & M. It always trusts- When people love each other, they do not need to use tracking devices to find out where the other person is at all times. It always hopes, always perseveres. Although Ana seems to be seduced by Christian's spell on her, she appears heartbroken and hopeless at the end of the first book. Somehow, she seems to persevere and then two more book sequels follow. However, a person should not have to endure and tough it out in an unhealthy relationship. If they want things to work out, it is important to seek godly counsel. 

Love never fails. I just don't understand how Ana manages to stay with Christian when their 'contract' relationship sounds like a complete failure. 

I will get off my soapbox right now and pray that this movie flops at the box office. Hopefully more people will realize that the hype of this movie is not really all that it's cracked up to be.

For more reviews, here are a few links.

http://www.charismamag.com/blogs/fire-in-my-bones/22398-let-s-call-fifty-shades-of-grey-what-it-is-perverted

http://www.familylife.com/articles/topics/marriage/staying-married/wives/fifty-shades-of-caution#.VNGurZ3F9qU

I'm not Josie Grossy anymore!

Here's a famous line from one of my favorite movies, Never Been Kissed: Drew Barrymore's character shouts, "I'M NOT JOSIE GROSSY ANYMORE!"



After seeing this movie, for probably the dozenth or so time, I am more reminded about my awkward teen years as my 20th year high school reunion is coming up this summer. I was never considered popular among my peers and I don't think guys ever considered me pretty. If they did, I never knew about it and I was rarely asked out on dates back in high school. However, I was not as awkward as "Josie" was in her teen years. I was somewhat on the shy side, got teased quite a bit, and lived somewhat of a sheltered life. I was not allowed to date until I was 16 (that was my sophomore year) and by then I could finally wear as much makeup as I wanted. Although I tried to look my best and sort of fit in fashionably with the other girls, I felt that I never measured up. None of my clothes were name brand because I bought what was affordable with my allowance money. I could never get my hair to look just right and my makeup often faded by the end of 2nd hour sophomore gym class. I admit that the thought of attending my reunion almost feels similar to Josie Gellar (Drew's character) going back to high school as an investigative, undercover reporter posing as a high school student. However, I must realize that "I am not Josie Grossy (an awkward teenager) anymore!"

I must remind myself that "in Christ, I am a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new." (New King James Version)